Even Now

Even now when I have come so far
I wonder where you are
I wonder why it's still so hard without you
Even now when I come shining through
I swear I think of you
And how I wish you knew
Even now

Even now
When I never hear your name
And the world has changed so much since you been gone
Even now I still remember and the feeling's still the same
And the pain inside of me goes on and on
Even now

Even now when I have come so far
I wonder where you are
I wonder why it's still so hard without you
Even now when I come shining through
I swear I think of you
And God I wish you knew
Some how
Even now


for rt

Foolish Friendship

Today I stopped trying to be 'someone' for somebody who never thought of me as anyone appreciated and important to them.

Inside I know the space I had for them is now crushed and broken...

Let the facts be out in the open and the truth be spoken...

In time it will be for the best...although I feel an emptiness...knowing what I considered worthwhile..proved shallow and unreal.

I've learned sometimes emotions seem clearer than perception..and eventually can lead to a heartbreaking revelation that someone cherished proves that their friendship was in fact deception.

I cry tears of realization that once again I believed the lies that were in disguise and covered up...

Honesty was masked with coy flattery. Why was I so darn naive?

I can and will move on...but I won't forget I was forgot and actually believed a lie. Not a lie out of the mouth...but of the heart.

That piece of friendship is now many torn apart....

I mustn't be sorry for the encouragement and love I shared...because I know what I offered was itself a dare. A dare to let someone be a part of me...who didn't find a reason to care.

Moments like these are rare... moments that I feel what I felt to be 'nothing' now and bare.

Thanks for the lesson learned...and always remembered. You were a 'lucky' someone who successfully got a part of the best of me. Now I'll throw away the scattered and useless pieces and leave you be.

dollface.

Going With Flow

Switching gears is absolutely needed sometimes, whether it’s letting go of people, careers, bad habits or anything that is emotionally draining or hindering you from getting to the place of your greatest potential. Sometimes it’s not easy but essential to complete and fulfill our greatest dreams and purpose. To not simply exist but to live a life of true happiness letting go is sometimes part of the process but remember appreciate it all and be thankful all while understanding that some things are here just for a season.

To whom it may concern

You’re just a memory now

Like a warm thought on a cold day

I wonder how you are

And it makes me sad that you went away

I know your still there

And I feel you sometimes

It makes me smile

When I think about your sweet eyes

I’m glad I was there for you when you needed

And that you have found the life you lost

I miss you sometimes

But that’s what friendship cost

Take care of yourself

And never forget

You have a life long friend

One I hope you don’t regret

 by DF

If you were busy

If you were busy being kind

Before you knew it you would find,

You’d soon forget to think it was true
That someone was unkind to you.

If you were busy being glad
And cheering people who were sad,
Although your heart might ache a bit,
You’d soon forget to notice it.

If you were busy being good
And doing just the best you could,
You’d not have time to blame the man
Who’s doing the very best he can.

If you were busy being true
To what you know you ought to do,
You’d be so busy you’d forget
The blunders of the folks you’ve met.

I Stood at the doorway to a memory

I stood at the doorway to a memory I haven’t been to in while,

It’s a place where pain and joy live together,

As I stood there, my mind wondered if I should step in,

Knowing that the moment I do, I may not be able to find my way back.

I had closed the door on this memory when pain took over, and nearly killed me

So I found it strange that I would find myself here again, wanting to go in,

Maybe I thought I would just stay for a moment and remember the joy, before the pain knew I was there. Or maybe I just wanted to feel that wonderfulness I once felt, even if it meant I suffer the pain along with it,

It hasn’t been long since I left that memory, and I don’t even know if I am strong enough to handle what waits for me there, the day I closed and locked the door was the day I said I would never go back, that I needed to leave that door and its memories behind me,

But here I stood, holding the key, not knowing why I was here, yet yearning for that memory.

As I opened the door pain greeted me, as if I had never left, its fragrance was strong, and as tears filled my eyes, I searched for the joy, wanting to hold it in my heart one more time, wanting to feel its gentle kindness and love, but much to my dismay, I could not find it, and pain was all around, I quietly left before pain knew I was gone.  will I ever go back to that memory, who knows, maybe with time, but for now, ill leave the memory were it is, locked safe in a place where it cant hurt me.

By DF

I am to blame

It is I and I alone, that is to blame

I use to blame you for my broken heart

When all along it was I that needed to take the blame

I trusted you

I believed you

I believed in you

I over looked your character

I over looked your indiscretion

I let you in my heart

I befriended you

I wanted to see a man of integrity

I wanted to see a man of love, and honesty

I wanted to see a man full of hope and goals

I was caught up in your charms, and your words

I wanted to give you my heart

I didn’t think you to be the kind of man

That would break a heart like mine.

So it is I that is to blame

So you see

It is what it is.

by DF

Gone

As it was storming yesterday, thoughts of someone came to mind... I thought about how I looked forward to talking to him and with just a text how he made me smile.  I thought about how that’s all gone now and I wonder why... Like the storm this friend came into my life unpredicted, wild and crazy pouring out every feeling he had, gloomy and scared, not knowing what he was going to do or even where he was going.. I tried to be an umbrella for him. A safe haven, someone he could trust in a time of uncertain, I thought I was that for him. I’m sure I was that... but as the sun came up and the storm was gone, so was he, as the sun came up on his life and as things stared to get brighter and better, he had no need for the shelter of our friendship, he didn’t need that safe haven anymore..  It makes me wonder why he was even brought into my life, just to leave it as quickly as he came to it...  but then with each storm that comes along I know why,, because at the time, this friend of mine need me, needed a friend to wait out the storm with,, all I can do now is hope for the best, and hope that when the next storm comes into his life, he will remember the friend that was there for him, waiting out the storm with him.

by DF 

la mia cotta

il mio cuore duole per lui

Mi manca il suo tocco

Mi manca il modo in cui mi ha baciata

egli non saprà mai che cosa significa per me

solo una cotta

Direi che è questo che fa tanto male

 by DF 

Anywhere But Here

I held onto you for as long as I could but today

You fell away

Now what I hold are the memories we barely made

I stood on the edge of your bridge until I felt the rain

Push me away

My confusion left me fast as the vertigo came

What I believed to be true it was only a dream
Believed in me

I just projected it over your beautiful screen

I self medicated my way through this mess that we made

So I could stay

There was nothing, but I waited

I waited

This was my mistake
Broken are plans we made
So I will be traveling any place
Cause anywhere's better than
Here we rest in peace
Rubble beneath the feet

I shouldn't have followed you anywhere
Cause anywhere's better than here

Where is the space I could move, where could I rest my head
There's nothing left for me here
It's hard to leave behind
The one thing that made me feel alive
So I slide
From paranoid to paralyzed

This was my mistake
Broken are plans we made
So I will be traveling any place
Cause anywhere's better than here

This was my mistake
Broken are plans we made
Here we rest in peace
Rubble beneath the feet
I shouldn't have followed you anywhere
Cause anywhere's better than here



Thanks to Myke for these lyrics.

Just love this song,,,  That's all

PLAIN

Plain was the same as it ever was the same.
Plainly plain...
Samely same...
But then...someone lit the flame.
Plain rode away on lion's mane.
Where plain met fruits with strangely names.
Such wonderful things they did contain.
A shot of life to a hungry vein.
The captive beast who broke the chain.
And there upon that fruited plane,
is where plain became what plain became.
So much more than more than plain.
Plain will never be the same.

By unknown

ANONYMOUS

I am anonymous

I am that reply

I am that one you wonder who it is

I view your life and others unknown

I say what’s on my mind

I say anything I want

I come and go as I please

I do as I please

I am everything you want

I am nothing you need

I am that fantasy

I am that bad dream

I get under your skin

I get on your last nerve

I am what you can never have

I am yours for the keeping

I am anonymous

BY DF

A Storm is like a Lover

A storm is coming, and as I wait, it reminds me of a lover,

Unpredictable, and wild, never knowing how it’s going to go.

I love looking at the storm, how it consumes me, how it intrigues me,

The smell of the rain reminds me of the smell of his skin

The soft whisper of the wind sounds like his soft sweet voice, whispering in my ear.

And how the lightning lights up the eye of the sky,

And the thunder in his kiss,

The cool breeze feels like the cool chills all over my body, with each soft touch of his fingers.

Not knowing when the storm is going to end, wanting it to last through out the night,

But the storm is only here for a moment and that in the morning he will be gone,

So I wait, wondering when the storm will come around again.

By DF

OH THAT GUY

Remember that guy,, you know, the one from high school, that guy you went to school for just to look at him, good looking, great smile, good personality,, untouchable, unapproachable, because you just knew that if he smiled at you or even talked to you (god for bid) you would just melt into a puddle of drool right in front of him,, Yea That Guy.. you couldn’t wait to get to class because he was sitting in the next chair in homeroom, looking all good, smelling all good, and you would  turn away with shyness  if he even slightly looked at you,, which he was probably only looking out the window, but of course in your teenage fantasy mind. HE was looking at YOU; I like to think about that guy once in a while. Thinking how silly I was to be so shy around him, when really all I probably had to do was just say, hey how’s it going. And hoped I didn’t turn into a puddle of drool if he said Hey back. And even maybe once in a while throw one of my cute little smiles at him, (I do have to say, I have been told I have a great smile) just saying. I wonder what he would have thought, or done if I had the nerve to do that, funny thing is there was guy like that at my school. SO CUTE, with a smile that would stop you in your tracks, and one time he did talk to me... Ill never forget it, he said “you sure are looking cute today” and what do you think I did... YUP... I melted into a puddle of drool... but I waited until he couldn’t see me. .   Years later I got to see THAT GUY from high school.. still oh so cute, still had a smile you could die for.. BUT,, this time I was not shy.. but, I still melted into a puddle of drool. :)


by df about vw

The eve of this birthday

On the eve of this birthday, I stop to think about all the birthdays before this one,, some fun, some sad, some I don’t remember, due to, too much fun, but each year there was always one thing I looked forward to,, my mom and I would always send the best gifts to each other.. You see my mom’s birthday is only a few days after mine, but this year is going to be different, with my mom passing away, I’ll miss sending her favorite flowers to her. And I'll miss getting mine from her, I'll miss talking to her about how things in my life have been going. And getting her good advices, we had talked about planning a trip to Vegas together for our birthdays this year, something I was so looking forward to, but just knowing that I cant pick up the phone and call her, and hearing her voice on the other end, always saying how beautiful the flowers are that I had sent, and her saying happy birthday, and us laughing about how old we are. That i'll miss the most. Its has been a very difficult month for me for sure, and I have missed my mom so much,, I still will,on her birthday this year, pick up her favorite flowers and tell her about what is going on in my life, and tell her happy birthday. There is so much I miss about my mom. But this special time, I miss the most. Love you Mom.

The Women I am

IF YOU TOOK THE TIME TO REALLY LOOK AT ME, SEE ME, HEAR ME, YOU MIGHT HAVE FOUND OUT  THAT I WAS MORE THAN JUST A MOMENT. MORE THAN A LONELY NIGHT, MORE THAN SOMEONE YOU CRYED TO WHEN YOU COULDN’T FIND ANYONE ELSE, THAT I HAD A HEART, ONE I FREELY GAVE, THAT I WAS A EAR, ONE THAT TOOK IN EVERYTHING YOU SAID, AND KEEPED IT BETWEEN US THAT I WAS A SHOULDER, STRONG ENOUGH TO LET YOU LEAN ON, THAT I WAS A LOVER, ON NIGHTS YOU NEEDED, THAT I WAS A FRIEND, WHEN FRIENDS WERE FEW.  BUT I WAS ALSO A WOMAN, ONE THAT FEELS, LOVES, CRYS, NEEDS, THAT’S THE PART OF ME YOU OVERLOOKED, THAT’S THE PART OF ME YOU NEEDED TO SEE. THE WOMAN, THAT WAS STRONG, YET WEAK , WEAK FOR THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE, WEAK FOR THE FEEL OF YOUR TOUCH, WEAK , FOR ONE MORE LOOK IN YOUR EYES,  THE WOMAN WEAK TO LET YOU IN HER HEART.. BUT STRONG ENOUGH TO LET YOU GO...

By DF

Talk about a Generation Gap

So Funny... My son and I were looking at my old record albums.. and he was looking at one of my 45s.. and asked me how do you change the song on this to another one,,i said " its a 45 there is only one song on it" he looked confused and said : Oh i thought it was like a CD, that it had more than one song on it.. then he said.. " hell i wasn't born in 1964 how am I supposed to know that. HAHAHAHA.. OH MAN DO I FEEL OLD !!

I guess you can say the 45s were the itune downloads of yesterday. HA

Out of sight out of mind

The meaning of absence makes the heart grow fonder, or out of sight out of mind.

When I think about it, it makes me wonder, has everyone been both, I know I have been a “heart grows fonder” to some and I am defiantly an “out of sight out of mind” to at least one. But think about it,, how sad is that,  that you could be a “ out of sight out of mind” because at one time or another, you were to that person someone special, someone they thought of and wanted to be near, and now you’re their “ out of mind” when I think back to the ones that has been in my heart one time or another, I still, from time to time think about them, so I guess, even though they may be “ out of sight” these people that I have at one time  put them in my heart, will never be a “ out of mind” there should be another saying for these people,, the ones you loved, cared about, thought of on a regular bases ,but maybe just don’t see anymore, for one reason or another,,  but to be “ out of sight out of mind” well I guess it depends on who you are and what kind of character you are. That you could put someone in that category. The thing to think about is this, you may have someone that is your “out of sight out of mind” but you may be their “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. so before you just forget people that at one time you wanted, just think you could be someone’s “ out of sight out of mind” when they are your “ absence makes the heart grow fonder”

Nobody

Nobody sees you as you're walking down the halls towards the cafeteria
Nobody acknowledges you when you're getting your book from the rack in your science class
Nobody hears you as you raise your hand and ask what the answer is again
Nobody sees how beautiful your blue eyes are or how your hair has natural highlights or how your freckle's go from the bottom of your eye to pass over your nose to the bottom of your other eye
Nobody understands why you feel so strongly about your decisions and why you feel like you need to express them
Nobody gets why you always seem to have a smile on your face on some days and on other days you just feel so sad and hopeless that you just feel like crying
Nobody

By EM

The Beholder

What hides behind the eyes of the beholder is more than the eye can see

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, they say

Beauty and pain

Though the beholder can’t see what the heart deceives

Knowing the pain the beholded will bring

Leaving devastation and despair

The beholded leaves without a thought or a care

As the heart grows weary and colder

Beauty still LIES in the eyes of the beholder

by DF about vw